Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Cool And The Crazy

I've always liked to roam and lounge, taking in copious amounts of  trivial minutia as entertainment. It never mattered how it came to me, it just mattered it was there and that it was ripe for me to pluck it out of existence. Now, I have a super speedy internet connection and I can pluck a shit load of minutia in no time. I am a happy camper.

Some of this minutia is cool, some crazy, but all of it entertains me and so I'm force feeding it down your throats. In this first of what will probably be more installments if I'm not too drunk or tired, I present you a racially confused Spider Man, A woman in love with her pillow and a mayor going honey badger on illegally parked cars. Welcome to the cool & the crazy.

So cool. So very cool. The unfortunate passing of Peter Parker in Marvel Comic's ultimate universe(for the uninformed, this is an alternate reality that distinguishes the franchises) leaves the gate open for a new Spidey and this Spidey is now Black & Dominican!

Pop culture history will be made tomorrow as ULTIMATE COMICS FALLOUT #4 hits shelves and introduces readers to the all-new Ultimate Comics Spider-Man! That’s right, for the first time ever, someone other than Peter Parker will be Spider-Man! But, after the death of Peter Parker, who will rise up to defend the Ultimate Universe? Meet Miles Morales, a seemingly normal teenager from New York who will soon discover that with great power comes great responsibility…and even greater danger!-via
Reasoning behind the cool? Spider Man made his first appearance in 1962. 1962. Yes, 1962. It is now 2011. The comic is about 50 yrs old at this point and the character himself started in his teens sooo how long can you keep him a middle aged man realistically? At some point he has to age and trade those web shooters for a walking stick. New blood is needed and why not a person of color to do the job?

Add to that fact that everyone knows black+dominicans make attractive children, second only to black+asian. I've never seen an ugly blackasian have you? Slim chance of this Spider Man being an uggo, not that Parker was but think of the casting opps for future movies. Speaking of which it's rumored Marvel did this to cater to Danny Glover Donald Glover fans upset he did not get the title role in the new 2012 Spider Man reboot. That is stupid. Marvel is catering to their fans period. This change may have been inspired by Glover fanatics but really? It is far from the reason. You know how much paper Spidey makes Marvel? Marvel just got smart and realized "hey, minorities buy a lot of our shit too!"  

And here comes the crazy...

Okay, a couple of things here...The narrator said she's been addicted to "Boo" her pillow, since age 4. Then he goes on to say she bought the pillow back in 82' at age 14!?! Common mistake or is this narrator a bold faced liar trying to cover up the mysterious origins of Boo? Next, how hilarious and awkward is it when Tamara's white boyfriend Paul tells cameras he's "very disgusted" by the pillow Boo ( it has a name Paul! Thank  You.) and that it is just so "black and dark"...yea...let that sink in. But the hijinx does not stop there because at the 1:15 mark is that not the dude from famed R&B group New Edition interviewing her!?! I'm pretty sure that's Ricky bell....maaaaaybe Michael Bivins. I MUST KNOW!!! I'm sure this will bother me all day now. All of this, very priceless and grade-A crazy material.

This man does not give a fuck and I salute him. The mayor of Lithuanian city Vilnius got pissed at illegal parking and decided to do something. That something is the video above. Technically this can fit into cool or crazy, I'll let you decide. Cool for the badassery and crazy because he has access to a tank and chooses to ride around on a bitch ass bicycle.

Well that's all folks, relay these spectacles to the masses and impress them with your improved wealth of useless happenings. Til next time.