Thursday, September 1, 2011

Steven Seagal Says Fu#k Yo Puppy Playa!

Steven Seagal killed a puppy.

Oh no. No...not with his bare hands silly, but that would make sense. Steven Seagal doesn't do anything half-assed. Steven Seagal killed that puppy the right way by running it over with a tank.

Apparently, Seagal went to save some chickens because he is sooo against animal cruelty and some dude named Jesus was suspected of cock fighting. Since as Seagal now has a reality show chronicling his new bad ass, law enforcement career, it seems he decided to boost ratings by kicking things up a notch by ramming a tank into the home of Jesus and killing the family dog in the process.

All I gotta say is...dude is merciless, I don't know why we haven't put him on this terrorist problem or the growing monkey population. I think he could mow down a good 10 to 12 spider monkeys per sq ft with the right tank. This should immediately be investigated more thoroughly.